ICW 11/15/11

• Between the first draft due Thursday and today, I added more details. I tried to include more background into the introduction, clarification to my conclusion, and just more details/research to my body paragraphs. I revised before I got my peer comments, but her critiques were things I tried changing anyway. The sample student essay helped a little bit but not a lot because I wrote a causal argument and their's wasn't. I never feel strong about my writing, but with this draft I guess my introduction is my strongest element because I like the emotions I get from reading it and I think readers will care about the issue. I'm concerned about my length. I always feel like my papers are too short but I never know what else to add. My mind just gets stuck sometimes, even if I take a break and come back.