ICW 11/29/11

I know my paper is a little short, but I made it to the fifth page at least. One of my concerns is what else can I add to my paper to make it longer? I feel like some of the paragraphs might be to bulky also...I think it kinda makes the organization awkward. I guess those are the main things to focus on.

ICW(2) 11/15/11

Perspective 1: Exercise. "Someone involved in exercise would say that lack of activity is the cause of increased child obesity."

Perspective 2: McDonald's. "Their food is not unhealthy and causing obesity."

Perspective 3: Science. "Genes can cause obesity."

Perspective 4: Doctors/nutritionists. "Some doctors would agree that food is the cause. Alternative foods, such as artificial coloring, flavoring, packaging, etc., just are not as healthy as the real deal."

I haven't totally decided between policy or proposal. I'm leaning more towards proposal, because I think it's easier to answer "how do we solve a problem" rather than give one specific policy. If that's what I do,  I'm going to propose something that deals with food. I did a lot of research and don't think I'll need more. Once I start writing, I might look up a few more things. It just depends. 

ICW 11/15/11

• Between the first draft due Thursday and today, I added more details. I tried to include more background into the introduction, clarification to my conclusion, and just more details/research to my body paragraphs. I revised before I got my peer comments, but her critiques were things I tried changing anyway. The sample student essay helped a little bit but not a lot because I wrote a causal argument and their's wasn't. I never feel strong about my writing, but with this draft I guess my introduction is my strongest element because I like the emotions I get from reading it and I think readers will care about the issue. I'm concerned about my length. I always feel like my papers are too short but I never know what else to add. My mind just gets stuck sometimes, even if I take a break and come back. 

Annotated Bibliography

Aho, Siaso. "Nutrition, Growth, and Childhood Obesity: A Viewpoint." Pacific Health Dialog 1.1: 63-66. Web.

This journal article was published in the “viewpoints” section of Pacific Health Dialog in 1994. The journal itself is a credible source, containing informative issues on health issues. The viewpoint article I read gave background on nutrition, growth, and obesity. Even though this is labeled as a “viewpoint” article, it provided several facts and scientific proofs, not just biased opinions. I liked how it opened with just talking about growth in general and the different factors that can alter the normal growth. The article doesn’t just talk about obesity; it also talks about malnutrition and a couple other health issues related. The end of the article just gives a couple simple solutions to help fight childhood obesity. This article is helpful for my research because of the background it gives.

Dolinkshy, Diana H., Anna M. Siega-Riz, Elaina Perrin, and Sarah C. Armstrong. "Recognizing and Preventing Childhood Obesity." Contemporary Pediatrics (2011): 32-42. Web.

            This journal article was recently published in January 2011 in Contemporary Pediatrics. What I liked most about this article is the facts it contained. It was written like “childhood obesity is an issue”…it’s written like “21% of children between ages 2 and 5 years of age are overweight.” The statistics could be totally made up but it still gives that credibility of having something to back up the statement. Like the first article I read, it gave background on normal growth and development for children. The second half of the article is dedicated to how to prevent childhood obesity. It starts with prevention during pregnancy and goes all the way through the early childhood years. I’m going to use this in my essay because it is detailed and credible.

Dhar, Tirtha, and Kathy Baylis. "Fast-food Consumption and the Ban on Advertising Targeting on Children: The Quebec Experience." Journal of Marketing Research XLVIII (2011): 799-813. Print.

         The American Marketing Association published this article but it’s about different studies that took place in Canada. As opposed to the two previous articles I read, this ties to my essay in a direct way. My issue is the impact fast food has on childhood obesity. As stated in the title, this article is about how fast food affects children. It also talks about banning certain advertisements that pull in kids to wanting to eat unhealthily. It doesn’t just talk about the effects in one specific country; it makes the issue more global. I think I’m going to use some of the statistics in the article for my essay. When it starts talking about legislation, it gets a little off topic for me. That might come in handy for the proposal essay we have next.

Duranto, Marcella, and Greta M. Herron. "Avoid the Fast Food Trap." Momentum (2011): 34-35. Print.

            This is an article I’m not going to use. The article was in the “healthy living” section of Momentum. There was nothing wrong with the article; it just didn’t have enough credibility to go into a research essay. It was just tips on how to cook healthy. There was also an emphasis and the disease Multiple Sclerosis, which isn’t connected to my paper at all. My issue deals with healthy eating but this just wasn’t good enough for me to use.

            Miller, Vin. "Super Size Me: Is McDonald's and Fast Food Really to Blame?" Natural Bias | Health, Fitness & Perspective by Vin Miller. Web. 07 Nov. 2011. <http://naturalbias.com/super-size-me-is-fast-food-really-to-blame/>.

            “Natural Bias” is a blogging website so there is obvious opinionated bias written. I chose to read this article though, because it was coming from a different perspective. It is written in response to “Super Size Me”, a documentary where one guy eats McDonald’s for every single meal throughout one month. The movie provides tons of facts against McDonald’s, “proving” the health issues he encountered came from his new diet. This blog gives different alternatives to his health problems and gives exceptions to people that eat fast food regularly and are still healthy. Even though it’s a biased blog, there’s still some credibility to the facts given. It works well for my essay, because it’s a different viewpoint saying fast food isn’t all to blame.

"Obesity and Overweight for Professionals: Childhood: Problem | DNPAO | CDC." Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Web. 07 Nov. 2011. <http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/childhood/problem.html>.

            This website is a .gov website, so it’s got the government behind it to give it credibility. It’s a simple website with different links to click on regarding different aspects of obesity. I read about the childhood obesity, since that’s what I’m writing on. I like how simple the website is…easy to find what I was looking for with clear titles. The information is complete unbiased, with a definition of simply stating, “childhood obesity is the result of eating too many calories and not getting enough physical activity.” There were no pointing fingers at a specific thing. It also talks about why it’s important to think about food and physical activity habits.

"McDonalds Nutrition Facts - Fast Food Nutrition Facts." - Fast Food Nutrition Facts. Web. 07 Nov. 2011. <http://www.fastfoodnutrition.org/r-nutrition-facts/McDonalds-item.html>.

            Because my issue ties together fast food/eating habits with childhood obesity, I figured I should look up the nutrition facts for the biggest fast food chain in the world, McDonald’s. I wasn’t shocked to see that majority of the time about half of the number of calories were from fat. Majority of the fat is saturated, which is the unhealthy type. I think I’m going to use this for my essay because it’s credible and helps in favor of my issue.

Maclay, Kathleen. "03.04.2009 - Linking Fast Food Proximity to Obesity." University of California, Berkeley. Web. 07 Nov. 2011. <http://berkeley.edu/news/media/releases/2009/03/04_obesity.shtml>.

            The University of California, Berkeley, published this article. It isn’t a long article. It mainly talks about how location of fast food restaurants is a factor on obesity also. It’s a viewpoint I never really thought about, so I might include it.

SWA#22

My issue is childhood obesity. It’s been stated that about 9 million children over 6 years old are obese. In 2001, the United States was in second place for the number of obese children, ages 10-16 years old. In 2008, South Carolina alone had a 30.1% rate of child obesity. There are plenty of people interested in this: doctors, nutritionists, and restaurants…the list goes on. Fast food industries could care less about contributing to these rates; as long as they’re making profit, it’s okay. Doctors are obviously against it because they’re aware and deal with the health issues that will come. I can’t think of two more sides at the moment. I personally think that the issue is terrible. There is no reason for a preschooler to be obese. There’s a long list of adversity and health problems they’re going to face.

In Class Writing 11/1/11

The problem is how unhealthy America is as a nation. It is important because the numbers of obesity and health issues are rising in every aspect. The people affected are mainly children. Children born into an obese family are more likely to have health issues and become obese also. People might disagree because they like to eat unhealthy foods or think it's an individual's right, which it is, it's just affected surrounding people as well.

SWA#21

1. It's being argued that people won't read if there aren't images (still or video), colors, headlines, summaries, etc. The whole article is about the shock people undergo when they're expected to read a block of black-inked text. Everyone just wanted to be told the gist of it, instead of reading the whole thing.
2. "Millions were frozen in place...daunting cascade of syllables....deafening sigh was heard across the country...450 percent rise in temple rubbing...never-ending flood of sentences...impenetrable English..." Hyperbole helps the author advance in his argument because it just adds to the stress of people not wanting to read plain text.

SWA#18

My three topics are child obesity, gun control, and the "Corridor of Shame". The "Corridor of Shame" is a local issue concerning the lower income cities in SC and the poor schooling systems. It was easiest to find sources and information for gun control because it's such a broad issue. The hardest one was the "Corridor of Shame" because it's a local issue. I could find some things, but if the issue was just poor schooling systems instead of specified to SC, it would be a lot easier.

SWA#19

1. It seemed to me that Andriesen considers something a sport if a ball is involved, it's a race, people take turns, there's a score, and it requires physical activity.
2. Criteria for sports is required in a competition setting. There have to be some guidelines, or else anyone could become an Olympian or something like that.